Kiss Of The Spider Woman (1985)

Sadly does not involve accidents with Gamma rays at all...

Genre: Drama (USA, Brazil)

Starring: William Hurt (Altered States; A History of Violence), Raoul Julia (The Addams Family; Romero)

Directed By: Hector Babenco (Pixote; At Play in the Fields of the Lord)

Overview: A cause-focused political prisoner and a film-loving homosexual share stories with one another in their jail cell.

Acting: I never considered William Hurt as one of the world's best actors but now, after seeing this movie, I know it. Far too flaming for even a pederast on poppers, this actors' director should have known when to say stop. As for Raul Julia, this will be far more of a black mark on his career than a notch on his belt for as well as he did, regardless of his mediocre secondary cast. I guess it doesn't matter since he's dead. Rest in peace.
Rating: 6

Cinematography: There is nothing more interesting to watch than four walls of a Brazilian jail cell. Not only were the scenes usually too dark (and I don't mean mood, I mean use a damn light meter) but even the ones of that Nazi film described by our flaming homo were bland and uninspired. Overall, there's nothing interesting to watch here.
Rating: 6

Script: Heavy dialogue does not a movie make. No memorable quotes, no deep revelations, I really don't care about your stupid mother, seriously. As for revolutionaries, it helps to know what your revolution is about to get me interested in your cause. A lot of fluff with no substance. Stupid and boring!
Rating: 5

Plot: The overview might sound a little weak, but that's because it is. Nothing beats a movie where a flaming queen narrates a bad movie to his cellmate while dressing in drag, unless it's seeing the obvious plot twists and sneaky subterfuges 20 minutes beforehand. I don't remember who's Top Howevermany list this is on, but it's not mine. Stupid stories with heavy dialogue for some reason just don't interest me all that much.
Rating: 5

Mood: For Hurt, the theme was escapism; for Julia it was staying firmly planted in reality. For me, it was 'how long is there left in this boring movie?'. Of course in the end, both characters seep into each other's world a little, but not nearly enough for you to feel that they've grown or learned or anything this story was supposed to teach us. I was glad it ended when it did.
Rating: 5

No webslinging at all! Hell, she's not even a superhero!

Overall Rating: 54% (Snore Of The Banality Lady)

Aftertaste: Some movies start off with you knowing how bad it's going to be within the first two minutes. Constantly, I gave scene after scene another chance in hopes that Raul Julia's cause would be this great shining truth that would shed light on this world of theirs but he hardly even said anything. And in the end, all I heard was the rambling yammer of a overly stereotypical homosexual.

One of the most forgettable movies of the year.